I MISS U..SALARY

BOSS..fas fas gv the salary leh
i gona buy my stuff with the super fast speed
if nt wil let other ppl buy gao jor..

ONE MONTH...STILL HAVE ONE MONTH..
my big day coming soon..
cant wait until tat day coming..
MUMMY DADDY...xing muk la...kaka

ciao..workin

SURPRISE?

both hand still empty
nothing is for me
anyone can give me a surprise?
i feel boring for my life dy
it just like a empty paper
just me make surprise for people
and no body give me surprise also
nothing special
birthday coming soon
who will be the first give me the surprise?
i don care is small or big surprise
and i don care who will be the first
i just need something
never get something
is boring

21

21

THIS IS WHAT I WANT
TIFFANY & CO BRACELET
SKINNY JEANS
EAR PIECING
TATTOO
JACKET



THIS IS WHAT I WANNA DO
IMPROVE PHOTO SHOOTING SKILL
EARN MORE MONEY
SLEEP EARLY
GYM



THIS IS WHERE I GONNA BEEN
PENANG
KAMPAR
GENTING
ZOUK

FUCK OFF

FUCK OFF
NO MORE CARE ABT SOME BODY
NO MORE DO STUPID THIN TO U
NO MORE FOLLOW WAT I PROMISE U
I DO SOMETHIN DIF NOW..
I MAKE SOMETHIN DIF NOW..
I WONT REGRET ANYMORE..
NO MORE SORRY
NO MORE ANGRY
JUST DON BLAME ME
CZ IS U MAKE THE SITUATION LIK TIS..

i STILL GET nothing

how long i searching u?
how many time i ask my fd wer can get u?
finally i found u at ter..
i try u..i c the mirror..aweseome.
finally i let u down..i put u bac..
cz i cant afford u..
i blame myself..blame soo much..
no body will knw my feel..
work hard..save hard..oso useless..
almost 3 month..i spend money to some wer..bt i get nothin bac..
i get nothing for myself..and no body know my feeling..
enuf dy..
just a dream never come true..
i blame

sick

i am sick.
i feel cold n hot.both make me suffer nw.
some more my muscles pain.
i scare H1N1. rely scare.
i scare suddenly i wil die bcz H1N1
i don wan u cry.
i knw today u wan com visit me.
first tim u com my workin place visit me.
i am feel happy n excited .
bt sry..
i can catch yr hand.i cant hug u.
cz i scare u will sick also.
sry..
allen..don gvup.

part time

i was workin at the curve a shop whose calling kitchen.jz a weekend partimer.other day nid study.
cz wana find more money.
avweek oso use finish.spend finish.
wana buy somethin 4 myself.until nw oso cant buy it.
hw long i notice tat thin i wan ah? i 4got dy..
i wan save some money 4 myself.
so.my friend..if u free at weekend.com here n find me 4 a lunch.
i wil vry happy c u all.cz i work at ter vry boring.
c u!

run run run

i am goin out to jogging
cz i don wan stay in room anymore
i wan splash out my stress
i don wan stay the bad situation anymore
i wil run until i feel tired
thn i jz bac home

is crazy

bt tis the way i are

ciao~ I GO NOW

DEEP BLUE

I notice bac hw long i nv login tis dust fully blog.It is long tim ago..
Cz i gt no tim to update n i gt not intrest to write anythin..
Bt tonite..tis blog gv me a little space to let me speak out wat i feel nw..
I feel blue nw..i feel down nw..n i feel sad nw..i get deep blue rite nw..
Anyone can hear me?
Friend? Parents? Relatives? GF? Or even jz a stranger..
No one..tonite i fil totally lonely..i get blue..
Deep blue..

Tis few week..i was worry somethin was bothering me serious..
GF bday..prom nite ticket..assignment..
All abt money..i got no time to save more money to afford those kind of thin n activity.
And i gt no chance to save money..avweek spend finsih..no body knw actually knw i wan save money buy somethin for myself..
avweek same..same..
and i was feel numb..starting feel no more hope..jz dream tat thin whn i slip..
I try to count my money.save..don eat lunch at skul..less activity..less spending..
bt finally..oso gone..

i try to 4get all those stuff n keep grow the speed of my assignment..i do..i do..nv rest..slip at midnite..wakeup at 6 mornin..somemore stil gt tuition..

until..i go shopin center find a parttime job..i hv to force myself spend all the time..wifout any relax..no more..n my mind start feel tired..i knw i wil break down one day..
bt i tel myself..hwever wat situation..keep silent..n do it n do it..is ok.

friday..is jz a normal day 4 me..i rush many stuff of my assignment at lastnite until i slip at 4..n i wakeup at 8..i continue do my design..non stop..no one knw..n i nv aspect i wil soo hard workin..i am change..change alot..
finally i done.n i bring the thumb to print wif the happy mind..cz i finally i can get abit relax chance..
suddnely..car accident..i am lazy talking abt the process dy..i serious accident..i cant use my car mayb one or two week..
i get scold frm parents..no one wil support me..even i say i din speedy..i swear..
i quite..i silent..i walkup to my room..lock it..open my laptop n act lik ntg..c the msic video i like..
my tears was slowly drop down frm my eye..as u knw..i giveup ady..my heart n my mind ady over limit..
all those bad stuff drop to me shorty..i cant control my tears..bt i keep tel me brain don cry pls..i am a man..pls..

i lock my door n i stay inside my room util one of my neighbor ask me com out to eat dinner.,n he don knw wat was happen b4..
i eat wif him..talk all those rubbish stuff..nv touch my accident story..

i realize one thin..sometim one simple talk can make me happy..n it jz serve frm mamak..a cheap mamak store..no alcohol..no hot chick..no music..and i realzie tis is wat i wan..
wat i aspect wil happen bt nv com..
my close fd nv ask me..nv cal me...
my GF? whn i nid her by myside..it wont bcom truth..nv n nv..and i fil fuckin duper disappointing..avtime oso same..even last time..

and i tel myself..i jz a crow..whn ppl nid me i com out..whn ppl happy dy..they wont rmbr n miss me..tats it..
so i tel myself..i wont b the crow again..nv..i wil b bac wat am i..i wont fil sry n shame to u all..even u close wif me..

4.30am..i stil cant slip..cz my mind ady drop to deep deep blue..i start less talkin..i din com out the room..jz facing the comp wifout any reason..and i numb.

saturday..i skip all 3/4 part..evening..i go relatives hse wif my family eating buffet..
some of my relatives tel me somethin hurting word to me..say me do many wrong thin..say me crash the car..
u wan change new car izit? thn go buy la y wan crash the car..n i silent bt showing my smile face to all.
i fil tat moment i am not here..i take a beer..n i walking out n nv tellin them..i drink the beer in road..i sit down at the bus stop station..vry lonely n vry down..handphone no any msg..no any call..is empty..
the ppl i hope she can stay wif me bt she nt..she nt free..she go happy..wat the situation..soo hurt..n stil soo hurt..n soo deeply hurt..

a msg com out..my neighbor again..ask me drink later.
ni standup n walk to his hse wif my non finish beer..in fact..the beer is the oni one fd by my side..funny..bt i cant smile..

stil same..a mamak rubbish talk..two of my neighbor acc me..i nv tel them my stuff.jz keep talkin rubbish thin.my fon nv ring..my msg box was stil empty..the ppl most close wif me nv find me..cz she is happy nw..is damn happy..n i notice.avthin stil same lik last time..nv change..jz talk cock n promise cock..n i stil lik a stupid...

bac hom..no mood to slip even i am vry tired..my eye is red..my face was lok lik old ppl..cz i am down for 2 day..nv stop..
i write the blog most longer in my life..i think so..
cz i gt anot thin wana tel ppl..bt i knw no one wil understand me n no one wil spend they tim to listen..i fuck u all..i rely fuck

thks guo lian..thks yan hong..thks mamak..
n thks those fuckin ppl n fuckin stuff..
u let me learn somethin important in my life..thks fuck ppl..

2.45am..she havent bac..n no msg n no call..good..

thn enjoy yrself..n yrself..

i wont wait u anymore..i feel speechless..

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